This evening at worship practice, we did the song, "Blessed Be Your Name" by Matt Redman. This song always makes me think of my good friends' mom who passed away a little over a year ago. We started singing this song in church and small group while she was sick with cancer. I found it very difficult for quite a while to sing the bridge, "You give and take away, You give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be Your name". It was hard to sing it before she passed away, and it was impossible for me to sing that part after she passed away. Not because I didn't trust that God knows what He is doing and His timing is perfect, but because it hurt to think of her not being here with us anymore.
Over the last year, it has gradually become easier to sing. I still think of her every time.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
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2 comments:
Interesting that you should mention that section of that song. I've often thought that that section gets glibly "sung-over" without really catching it, but it's precisely what that section of Scripture (in Job) is all about -- I'll bless the name of the Lord whether He gives (Gratitude) or whether He takes away (Grief).
I think that I would be so much better off if I continue to put on the attitude that it doesn't matter what happens circumstantially to me, I am not going to abandon my faith in God. That seems to be rare; more common to see a person shaking their fist and assuming God owes them something.
Exactly.
I found it difficult to sing the words after she passed away, precisely because when I sing, I mean it. The words are a huge part of the song for me. I was so sure that she was going to get better, it was a real shock when she died. I had to come to terms with the fact that my loss wasn't as important as blessing God because He Is.
Another song that I still have a hard time singing is "If Ever I Loved Thee, My Jesus 'Tis Now". We sang this song in church the Sunday after my friend lost her twins. My difficulty is not in saying the words, but in not crying through the whole thing. Because I do trust Him and love Him, no matter what, I find it a very personal statement when I sing it.
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