Over-obligated....or just feeling like I am

So, a while ago I posted that one of my upcoming posts was going to be about being over-obligated....yeah...I've been too busy to post.....

Really, I'm not over-obligated...I just feel like I am...

Why is it that I feel so responsible for fulfilling everyone's expectations?
I'm horrible at it.
* Thank-you notes.
* Keep-in-touch phone calls.
* Volunteering to help (with everything).
* Organizing this, that or the other.
* Being in charge of maintaining group communication.
* Keeping a spotless house...or even just tidy.

Even if others don't expect me to do something, I somehow feel like I'm failing by not volunteering myself and my time.
Even if others have no idea or intention of me doing something, I still feel that I should do it and by not doing it, I've failed at being 'good', 'responsible', 'thoughtful', etc. (all those good things)

And, I actually want to do most of these things (that's probably the root of my problem), I just haven't figured out how to fit them in to my life.

I also want time for me (selfishly, when I want to do what I want, I put the monkey-kids in front of the TV). I fear that I'm not giving them enough non-TV time...or enough time playing with me (rather than just playing in the same room as me). And I 'lose-it' with them far too often...where's that gentleness, kindness, self-control?

When I do get the time to work on something...I usually choose a selfish thing to spend my time on. I could write a thank-you note, but I sit and knit. I could phone an old friend, but I play with my craft stuff. I could clean the house, but I hide in a book. I could empty the dishwasher, but I surf the internet reading blogs.

(sigh) I guess I have to work a little harder on my servant-heart....